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I'm not saying I'm Batman but... 
I'm not saying I'm a genius but... 
I'm not saying I'm a super hero but... 
When you're not ready for the challenge 
When you start to regret your choices 
When you're in over your head 
When you get more than you bargained for 
When adventure turns into drama 
When reality hits you like a ton of bricks 
Dave Lizewski: 'I should have seen this coming!' 
Dave Lizewski: 'Oh no, not again!' 
When you take the wrong path 
When you can't keep up with the other superheroes 
When you have a Kick-Ass sign but no superhero costume 
Dave Lizewski: 'Looks like I'm in trouble again!' 
Dave Lizewski: 'I'm not sure I'm ready for this!' 
Dave Lizewski: 'What did I expect?' 
When your superhero fantasies become a reality 
When you take Kick-Ass a little too seriously 
Dave Lizewski: 'Time to face the music!' 
When you're not prepared for what's ahead 
Dave Lizewski: 'This isn't what I expected!' 
Dave Lizewski: 'Ughh, why did I think this was a good idea?' 
When you realize action movies aren't always what they seem 
When your superhero dreams turn into nightmares 
Dave Lizewski: 'What have I gotten myself into?' 
Mrs. Lizewski: 'What have you done this time?' 
When you realize being a superhero isn't all it's cracked up to be 
Dave Lizewski: 'This isn't what I signed up for!' 
Dave Lizewski: 'I guess it's time to face the music!' 
When you try to fit in with the other superheroes 
Dave Lizewski: 'Here we go again...' 
Dave Lizewski: 'Just trying to look cool!' 
Dave Lizewski: 'How did I get myself into this mess?' 
Dave Lizewski: 'Maybe I should have stuck to the comic books!'